Like so many Americans this past week, I’ve been reeling. I’ve been enraged and scared and just stuporous with disbelief and a sense of betrayal. It wasn’t so much that I was disappointed that my person lost…but it felt like over half the citizens just threw the whole country under the bus and I was so fucking disappointed in them. After everything that man has said and done to prove his incompetence and self-serving motivations, how could so many of them do this? How could they not see what is so glaringly obvious to the rest of us? Or worse, how did they see it and choose to ignore it?
I’m a slow thinker, I need time to ponder big questions like these. I just have to allow all these thoughts to tumble around until they align in a way that makes sense. I’ve thought of little else for the past six days and in those six days, the wisdom of my years has helped my mind create an inner dialogue and understanding that does makes some sense to me now. And, in understanding this miscarriage of righteousness, I’ve found some reassurance and hope for the future of this country.
A tenet of my personal belief system is that there are two binding forces in this universe: love and fear. Some people think that love and fear are emotions, but I believe they are much more significant than that. They are bonds. They bind us to people and places, our homes, our memories, our decisions. What we love and what we fear are ingrained so deeply into our personhood that we are often not even aware of their influence in our lives.
The people who support Donald Trump have bonded in fear. They have bonded to each other and also to the idea of what they believe he represents. Each of these people may fear different things. They fear change, they fear a perceived loss of power, they fear that eggs will be too expensive? But just imagine, how fearful and desperate a person must feel to believe that Trump is their savior? Trump?? Again, seriously, TRUMP??!! It would be interesting to further understand the root of their fear and how it could force them to believe that a demented felon and rapist could be their safe spot. It feels like some large-scale Stockholm Syndrome thing going on. But, I digress, that is too big of a subject for today.
Today, I want to speak mostly about these bonds. Love and fear, and how they differ. Initially, they are both strong bonds. A bond of love, a true bond of love, is entirely giving with no expectations and it is nearly indestructible. But a bond forged in fear will be held strong at first, but also brittle because the person or people forging that bond are insecure and only interested in receiving reassurance and a sense of security with others sharing similar fears. And because they are so insecure and because they give nothing and expect everything, people bonded through fear will turn on each other very quickly.
So, for the rest of us, we must allow this MAGA madness to burn itself out. I don’t think the next four years will be as terrifying as we believe, mostly due to the magnificent incompetence of Trump and those surrounding him. There are already signs of dissention in the ranks and he hasn’t even taken office yet.
Just because I hope this next four years may not be so harrowing, this is not a call to slack. Their fear has turned to madness and we must fight and resist it at every turn to reclaim sanity in this country. But one of the easiest things we can do to fight, is to love. Form communities, reach out in love and kindness to neighbors and friends and strangers. Give help and aide to those who face the biggest threats. And also, we must love those who are against us. Be cautious though, perhaps love them from afar, but love them just the same. They are afraid but they are not lost. Any sanctuary we can offer them from their fear, could be enough to bring them back…even if that sanctuary is only withholding scathing words. Love them however best you can. I believe many will slowly trickle back to the side of sanity. Love is always stronger. Love is the bond that will save us all.
But to the vultures who have orchestrated this division and chaos for financial gain, you will certainly test my resolve to remain loving but I will try to love you from afar. Just understand, when you are dead and gone, I will love you all the more.
For the sane among us, we’ve got our marching orders. Be safe. Be strong. Be courageous. Be protective. Be vigilant. Be tenacious. Be proud. But also, be loving.
Be loving, most of all.